Channel Nine’s dirt-loving critter only dived lower, and faster, when the Prime Minister’s heir apparent, Peter Costello, chimed into the great debate from the cheap seats.

But, what does it all mean? This is a multiple choice question and, by way of preparation for November 24, the options are: a) bugger all, b) sweet FA, and, c) not a lot. See, isn’t democracy wonderful.

What we got in the great debate was two boring white men, chanting the party line to an audience of sycophants who weren’t supposed to interject, boo, or, even, clap politely. Not exactly the material for a ratings winner. Little wonder the majority of Australians flicked to Kath and Kim or did something relevant, like checking the Melbourne Cup form, or going for a walk.

Those who sat through the bore-a-thon, however, would have understood what this federal election has come down to – cretins at 20 paces – or 2000km, depending on the campaign schedule.

The 2007 contest is more an auction than a contest of ideas and, it raises the question, what are modern governments supposed to do? Pretty much nothing, if you listen to Howard and Rudd.

Handouts are at the centre of their worlds and they were slap-bang in the middle of the debate. Our choice, apparently, is about what disguise we would prefer them to travel under.

Howard and Rudd love Australian families. They express this devotion by lavishing short-term handouts and completely ignoring the nation-building, society-strengthening options that could make a real difference to the way they live.

Howard rocked into the debate swinging multi-billion tax cuts like an engorged todger. Rudd responded with a quick peak at shapely computers that will flicker in kiddies bedrooms across the continent, courtesy of some tax-break or other, before he signs off on Howard’s programme.

By the time this pair have finished, we’re going to have tax breaks, vouchers and Christ-knows what other form of individual subsidy, coming out our ears. All means-tested, of course.

How does this mentality flourish under “economic conservatives”, wedded to the ideals of personal responsibility, hard work and aspiration?

Wouldn’t it be better if you just restored our rights to negotiate our own wages, and working conditions, instead of pushing everyone onto the public teat?

Fellas, in case you haven’t noticed, the country’s got a health crisis; a housing crisis; the technological revolution is passing us by; public transport, in the big cities, is rooted; the bush is short of water; and the whole joint is going to burn up if we don’t do something substantial about global warming. Meanwhile, our armed forces are off pouring petrol over the fires of international terrorism.

Multi-billion surpluses mean a government worthy of the name could make significant inroads into some of these problems. Unfortunately, on the evidence of the great debate, such a government will not an option at this election

The only time, in 90 dreary minutes, anyone came near nation-building was when Rudd spoke about his plan for high-speed broadband, across the continent.

Even the worm perked up and looked, briefly, for a better world.

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Mr Warner can no longer partake in such frivolity, as he is now dead. He was killed from an enema administered by his wife. A sherry enema. Or, as it is referred to in the business, a shenema.

Brazoria County Court dropped charges against Mrs Tammy Jean Warner for negligent homicide in the May 2004 death of her husband, with the court citing a ‘lack of evidence’.

It appears Mr Warner had a throat ailment, leaving him unable to swallow alcohol. The next step was to find an alternate opening. Tammy Jean claimed that her husband was addicted to enemas, often using alcohol in his adventures.

Records show that Mr Warner inserted two bottles of sherry into her husband, raising his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas. They are hard men in Texas.

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Honour. Loyalty. Pride. All traits the Japanese cherish. In a land where business is conducted like warfare, codes must be upheld. For what have we, if we don’t have our dignity?

It’s therefore perfectly understandable that, upon learning that his employer had ignored his gift of jelly desserts, a Japanese worker took a truncheon to his boss’ office, destroying 22 computers and, possibly, the delicious jelly treats.

Many in Japan maintain the tradition of imparting gifts to important business contacts when the season changes, an act of respect that, apparently, should not be taken lightly. That being said, not everyone likes jelly, and perhaps chocolate swirls would have been a safer option.

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Printed on the back of a letter, from the only minister to be stripped of their portfolio after the last election, the poster features such suggestions as “You’re A-OK-my buddy”, “What an imagination” and “You’ve discovered the secret”.

“We all know the thrill of receiving a word of kindness, encouragement or appreciation every now and then,” the former Minister for Veterans Affairs writes. “Yet because of our hectic daily lives, we often forget to compliment others; even when they deserve it.”

“A father who praises his children can have such a positive influence in their lives. If he calls them champions, they will think the whole world regards them as champions, and that is exactly what they will become.”

“This poster is sent to you with my compliments with some suggestions in praise of the special people in your life. I am sure you can improve upon this. And if you do not have any children at your house, cross out the word ‘child’ and write the name of your special someone and watch the power of praise work its magic at your place.”

“P.S. A hug is worth a thousand words.”

Vale, who was such a popular Minister for Veterans Affairs that someone even formed an Ex-Service, Service and Veterans Party to run against her at the last election, is probably best remembered for her opposition to the RU486 abortion pill on the basis that it would lead to a Muslim takeover of Australia.

“I’ve actually read in the Daily Telegraph where a certain Imam from the Lakemba mosque actually said that Australia is going to be a Muslim nation in 50 years’ time,” she said in February 2006.

“I didn’t believe him at the time but when you actually look at the birthrates and you look at the fact that we are aborting ourselves almost out of existence by 100,000 abortions every year. “

“You multiply that by 50 years, that’s 5 million potential Australians we won’t have here.”
However, many will also remembered Vale for placing herself at the centre of the Alan Jones/ABA scandal in 2004, when she mistakenly faxed a letter of support urging Jones to “stay brave and true” to Jones’ rival John Laws, who then read the letter out to his listeners.

Hughes resident Daniel Fitzgerald was delighted to find that Vale had since moved on to sending less controversial, though no less flowery, letters.

“This is the first letter I’ve received from Danna, and I have to say it was worth the wait”, Fitzgerald said. “I thought it might be something about what she’s been doing for the electorate, maybe telling us what she’s actually achieved in three years, but this is just so much better.”

“Some people will say this is a shameless attempt to build up a positive image in the lead-up to the election or to divert attention away from the fact that she’s a crap politician, but I don’t see it that way. The fact is, people not praising their children is probably the greatest problem facing the electorate right now, and it’s Danna’s responsibility to make sure we do these things.”

“It’s nice to get parenting advice from someone who only sees their kids about six months of the year.”

Vale has been relatively quiet since she was one of four ministers in August to publicly voice their doubts over the existence of global warming.

“There’s great contention amongst the science community about if indeed there is contribution from human beings, or indeed the degree to which there is,” she said.

Many, however, are still looking forward to another few years of Vale, with the 62 year-old expected to retain her seat at the coming election.

“People say she’s an embarrassment to the electorate, but I don’t agree” Fitzgerald says. “If anything her bizarre outbursts have put us on the map. Questionable grammar aside, this letter is a return to form.”

“My one criticism would be that the compliments aren’t in Danna’s idiom. Maybe next time she can have stuff like ‘I’m glad I didn’t abort you out of existence, champ’ or ‘Stay brave and true, little buddy’.”

“I worry too that she’s fishing for compliments a bit, maybe encouraging people to praise each other a bit more because no one has praised her for anything in so long.”

“If I can quote her poster: Danna, you make me laugh.”

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They understand the Kyoto Protocol is the real deal, even if they are hazy on the details. Gentlemen’s agreements for nations to reduce emissions are as useless as voluntary ‘rules’ to stop big polluters dumping poison in a river, or the global atmosphere.

But what is not yet clear is how the September leaders’ meeting in Sydney is a smokescreen for other, non-ecological threats to pax suburbia.

The nineteenth century struggle between Britain and Russia over control of Afghanistan and its neighbourhood was referred to as The Great Game, in polite company. Peter Hartcher describes the current regional game in The Diplomat this month, ‘the world has never seen the rise of new great power without war. Yet today we see the rise of two great powers in China and India.’ While John Howard is promoting his impending world leadership gala, China and India are mixing it up with fellow nuclear gang member Russia, and its aspiring homies, Iran and the ‘Stans, in the woefully under-reported Shanghai Cooperation Organisation.

The SCO arose in the wake of the Soviet Union’s collapse, to demilitarize the border between its successor states (Russia, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Uzbekistan) and China. Western experts said it was not important.

In 2001, the organization added Uzbekistan and renamed itself the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation. Mongolia won observer status in 2004 and Iran, Pakistan, and India became observers in 2005. The SCO proclaimed its intention to fight terrorism and Western experts said it was now a bit important, but not in a military sense.

Then earlier this month, SCO heads of state met in Kyrgyzstan at a joint-military exercise involving fighter jets, helicopters and about 6000 troops, called ‘Peace Mission 2007’. Russian President Putin proclaimed regular flights by ‘strategic’ bombers, deep outside Russian airspace in the Pacific and Europe. In this context, ‘strategic’ is policy-wonk for ‘carrying, or able to carry, nuclear weapons over vast distances for the purpose of killing tens of millions of innocent civilians’. But ‘strategic’ is more relaxed and comfortable.

None of the experts are saying that Russia actually intends to bomb anyone, or even load nukes on the bombers, but you do not build strategic weapons out of a DIY urge. As APEC’s architect, former PM Paul Keating pointed out last week, war is a looming cloud over our region and, ‘The nuclear genie which was set free in 1945 can now be possessed by any number of half-competent states.’

Nuclear weapons are the biggest bling that can be bought, in the gang war known as the international system of states. Uranium is the only absolute constraint on bomb building and selling it to the SCO proper, or fellow-travelers like India, is an invitation to proliferate nukes.

While APEC is run on the eBay model – if you got it, sell it – the real ‘strategic’ game is being played out elsewhere. Lets hope none of the Aussie uranium that home-boy Downer pimps at APEC ever rains down in a mushroom cloud over New Delhi, Taipei, Tokyo or Sydney. Until then, be alert not alarmed old chums, your government is here to protect you. Trade is peace.

Dan Cass works for Greenpeace. These are his own personal views.

image : https://www.2gb.com/

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Already highly unpopular with the public, the move risks alienating NSW voters who will be crucial in the upcoming federal poll.

Sources close to the state government say it will be the first shot in a privatisation war that will also target Sydney ferries and rail maintenance. They say Iemma wants it done and dusted by Christmas while union adversaries are blindsided by John Howard and the national picture.

Galaxy polling, last week, found 62 percent of people opposed selling off the power industry; 60 percent were against flogging parts of the rail network, and 59 percent opposed the privatisation of Sydney Ferries.

Unions NSW assistant secretary, Mark Lennon, said the size of the numbers indicated the Iemma Government would have struggled to have been returned to power, if it had come clean before the state election.

Lennon challenged the NSW state government to hold a plebiscite on its privatisation plans.

Only 25, 28 and 20 percent of respondents, respectively, supported propositions that will be unveiled by Treasurer, Michael Costa, at next week’s Cabinet meeting.

Galaxy found that one in three Labor voters would have been less likely to have supported the party if they had been aware of sell-off plans.

image : https://infrastructuremagazine.com.au/

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The scalping came with the NSW Supreme Court decision to block access to records that would unmask lenders behind escalating house repossessions.

Basis Capital Yield Master Fund, an offshoot of hedge fund Basis Capital, went tits up on Thursday with the appointment of a liquidator to freeze overseas assets. Joint liquidators were named in the Cayman Islands, Britain and Australia.

Problem investment in collateralised debt obligations have been identified. These instruments have been savaged in the credit market slide.
Non-bank mortgage lender RAMS Home Loans Group has also seen its share price plummet.

Basis Yield news broke as the NSW Supreme Court refused the Australian Bankers Association and the Consumer Credit Legal Centre access to records that would finger the real lenders behind the surge in home repossessions.

The Sydney Morning Herald reported, last week, that $500 million in Australian subprime loans were technically in default. The vast majority of this finance is arranged through the non-bank sector.

Repossessions are enforced through Supreme Court actions. Last year, the NSW Supreme Court, ordered 5363 repossession writs. But Supreme Court Justice, Jim Spiegelman, said about 18,000 court files would have to be reviewed, raising issues of privacy and practicality.

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Experienced union officials, including one fingered as a bully by politicians, have been taken aback by abuse and threats hurled by a Sydney boss.

Independent producer, Brad Diebert, cut up rough after Media Entertainment and Arts Alliance official, Simon Whipp, told performers on his gangster movie they were entitled to a better deal.

“Listen here, Simon Whipp, you slanderous motherfucker,” Diebert warmed up. “You are up for it buddy … so, fuck you … listen here, motherfucker, you and me see each other in the street and you better walk away, you cunt, because I am going to rip your fucking eyes out.”

We know this is exactly what Diebert said because, not being the sharpest tack in the drawer, he left his message on the MEAA answerphone.

Victorian ETU secretary, Dean Mighell, said Diebert’s negotiating strategy was flawed.

“Profanity without principle is worthless,” Mighell told Manic Times.

“He (Diebert) sounds like the sort of guy who would benefit from some union training. I think he would find that a little more professionalism would go a long way, and get better results.”

CFMEU mining division secretary, Tony Maher, said Diebert’s approach was not unique among the employing class.

“We have all had experiences of being stood over by employers,” Maher said. “Personally, I have had the CEO of a mining company try to intimidate me in a courtroom.

Employers are not beyond this sort of thing and never have been.

“But, it’s not very smart and it lacks professionalism. I think Kevin should throw him out of the party.”

Whipp told Manic Times he had been shocked and a “little bit amused” by Diebert’s grubby tirade.

“We had had a couple of exchanges of emails and a couple of conversations that hadn’t been particularly heated. What got him upset was that, based on the budget he had supplied, we had told him there was enough money to pay performers the minimum rate for turning up on the day.”

Unions NSW assistant secretary, Mark Lennon, said the Diebert outburst highlighted the hypocrisy of the federal government.

“We haven’t heard boo from them,” Lennon said. “If this had been a union official talking to an employer, there would be hell to pay.”

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Senator Bill Heffernan has stopped just short of apologising to Rooty Hill High School after launching an expletive-riddled tirade at a teacher and the parent of a student at the school.

According to teacher Dean Newbold, the attack took place on August 15 as he and parent Greg White met with Senator Marise Payne in her Canberra office to discuss the school’s funding shortfall, with Heffernan saying to the pair, “Don’t give me that shit, what are you fucking doing about it?”

The Rooty Hill pair were not aware that Heffernan was even planning to be at the meeting with Payne, with the controversial NSW Senator refusing their offer of a personal meeting. Payne had mentioned to Newbold in the weeks leading up to their meeting that Heffernan might be planning to attend, but later changed this, saying that Heffernan would definitely not be attending.

However, Newbold and White arrived at Payne’s office to find Senator Heffernan sitting on the lounge, with Heffernan beginning his tirade “from minute one”.

“I should have read from the body language that we were in a bit of trouble”, said Newbold. “It was clear to me from early on that we were sport, that he was there for a good time, and his idea of a good time was making us suffer.”

“There was no build-up. It was from the start, go for the throat.”

Newbold, a history and geography teacher at the school, claims he did not respond in kind to Heffernan’s attack as he “was there representing the school”.

Newbold and White then tried to concentrate their efforts on ignoring Heffernan and “talking sensibly” to Senator Payne, but were again thwarted by Heffernan.

“He wasn’t impressed by that”, said Newbold. “He got out of his chair and was marching around the room, leaning over people and pointing in at their chest. It was really ugly.”

“The poor parent who was with me, he’s a bloke that doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t swear; his jaw was on the floor.”

So embarassed was White by Heffernan’s behaviour, he even apologised to Payne at the end of the meeting, with Payne replying, “That’s just Bill’s way. We might not use the same language but we agree on the policy”

The next day Newbold faxed an angry letter to Prime Minister John Howard slamming Heffernan for his “insulting and bullying behviour”.

Just over an hour after sending the fax, Rooty Hill High School’s principal Christine Cawsey received a conciliatory phone call from Heffernan, where it is understood he offered his assistance to the school in receiving funding for a new sewerage system.

This week, Senator Heffernan’s office initially claimed that the senator could not be contacted regarding the incident as he was in Kununurra, but later changed this saying that he was simply “tied up with other meetings”.

“I assume it’s going to be biased report anyway”, ‘Jane’, the staffer from Heffernan’s office who returned Manic Times’ calls, replied.
Jane was able to confirm that Senator Heffernan is planning to visit the school with the federal Labor member for Chifley, Roger Price, in the near future.

Senator Payne’s office did not respond to Manic Times’ inquiries.

HEFFO’S GEMS
Whilst his preferred pastime in 2007 has been interrupting other people’s press conferences, Senator Heffernan has built a strong reputation for saying stupid things and then apologising for it:

2002 – Used parliamentary privilege to accuse High Court judge Michael Kirby of using a government car to pick up male prostitutes. He later had to withdraw his claims and resign as Parliamentary Secretary to the Cabinet after his evidence was revealed to be false.

2006 – Was forced to apologise to Nationals Senator Fiona Nash after an altercation with her at Canberra Airport during which he told her to “blow it out her backside”.

2007 – Declared in an interview with The Bulletin that deputy opposition leader Julia Gillard was unfit to lead the nation because she was “deliberately barren”. Classy.

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